The Affordables

You know, if, of all things, Zoisa Mamet's Kickstarter is what finally gets The Revolution going, I will be… pleasantly surprised!

I think we've figured out what happened to David Mamet.

@avclub-3bca94e353e508c1a49bf984fc5c346d:disqus, did you know you can sing and clap your hands… right now?

…the millenials!

Am I the only person on the internet who just doesn't give a fuck about the spelling bee? When did this become something that headlines mainstream news sites? Who thinks that putting a bunch of over-parented, adderall-doped future school shooters up on a stage is any different than what they do to Honey Boo Boo? It's…

@TheSensitiveGhostOfSethPu:disqus It is if you try hard enough.

That asshole has a bird on his head!

Yes, but they'll have to use a double for all of the violent scenes because the Bible says oh who am I kidding?

Edit: Boy I bolloxed that one.

IN OTHER NEWS, A REAL INTERNET MAN OF THE PEOPLE LIKES EMPTY-HEADED BULLSHIT.

That's a good point of comparison. (Bear with me.) I hate this movie for the same reason I hate Funny Games. The latter tsk tsk'd me over my desire to see people tormented and tortured, which I don't have. The break point for me watching a horror or suspense movie is whether the violence is realistic or plausible,…

Nah. They're poorly-plotted, unnecessarily violent, all of the characters have the mindsets of a tightly-wound teenage boy, and the attitude toward sex is really off and, to be honest, misogynistic…

Bullseye. Even if I've matured into the most insightful man on the planet (I haven't,) the vampire stories I wrote in 10th grade are still juvenile bullshit.

By this point, it's kind of like it's laminated.

Zach Snyder is the fucking worst. Everything he's touched has been shit. Anyone who defends his Dawn of the Dead hackjob should be slapped.

In a shocking twist it turns out the movie is well-written and acted.

Two Guys, A Girl, and a Bunch of Jokes from 1962

They should split the difference and have a statue of Bill Duke in a dress.

You should know that, if you don't use enough grease, the sax won't be any good for anyone.