Shirted man: "Um, I was told that Ice Cube was going to appear in this picture."

Pictured: The saddest Minority Report cosplay at the comic-con.

Unfortunately, the fact that you're not @avclub-33beffd09a1b020d1187c6b4b264014a:disqus dooms this noble effort.

In voiceover

2 Men 1 Shirt

"This is literally the only scene in the movie where something wildly implausible isn't happening."

"Look, you just put the buttons on the right in the holes on the left…"

I hate: Texas, nostalgia, and Ethan Hawke.

Well, obviously, you stop when you reach the edge of infinity… staring… into the fiery void at the heart of the universe… where flesh and thought become one… there you stop and turn back to see all the threads of history entwined in a golden wreath… and you reach… and PLACE IT… ON… YOUR… BROW!

That would be Sam Gopal. They're good!

I don't know if "Warrior on the Edge of Time" is the best Hawkwind, but I think it's the most Hawkwind.

UNDER OBAMACARE THEY'S GONNA BE FAKE DEATH PANELS FULL OF GOMMINT BUREAUCRATS DECIDIN WHO LIVES AND WHO PRETENDS TO DIE!

The A.V. Club

"She's been doing rails off of Burt Reynold's cock all night!"

Dead? Dead!

Don't feed the trolls. Just flag and move on.

Some of us even still have pubic hair.

Unless there's a Flamin' Hot Asparagus Cheeto, I somehow doubt that.

The! Aristo, crats?

You let them get away with this kind of thing, and they micturate on to grosser stunts.