I remember one of the commercials playing up the whole "we're ruthlessly violent!" had Dick Butkus saying something along the lines of, "Boy, I wish I had a quarter for every time I knocked a quarterback on his ass!" Which, uh, you did, Dick. Remember when you were paid to play linebacker in the NFL?

And then being completely flummoxed by the word "burrito."

Vince McMahon is just a carny with a shitload of money.

NOT!

The most vocal contemporary American racists want to fuck Japanese body pillows. So….

DEE: "No! There's no way I would ever date Michael Rapaport!"

I don't even think it counts as a feud. Aziz Ansari is talented and driven and very good at what he does. Michael Rapaport, meanwhile, is…Michael Rapaport.

Looking back, the obsession that some people had with maintaining ideological purity or voting third party/Not voting at all in the face of Trump and his policies just seems so silly.

It's the left-leaning voters insisting on ideological purity—and then not knowing when to stop doing so.

Ah Del Monte. Enjoy them old man, they will be your last.

Let's seal this devil's three-way right here, right now. Step one, we buy into this club. Step two, we roll over to the club either in your Mercedes Benz or my pre-owned Acura Legend. Step three, I dagger you on the dance floor. Just bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce now all the ladies sayin' bounce bounce bounce…

I'll cut you so bad, you'll have a chin! YOU'LL ALL HAVE CHINS!

Well, he's not exactly wrong about that….

Dawes!

Bernie Sanders

She was just as bad, if not worse than Trump! Emails! Benghazi! WATCH "CLINTON CASH" FOR THE TRUTH!*

I'm told Brain Smasher: A Love Story is an entertaining failure of a movie. Agree or disagree, AV Club commentariat?

I read that in Lrrr's voice. "She wears miniskirts and is promiscuous!"

Hell, ZZ Top's "I Gotsta Get Paid" (https://www.youtube.com/wat… is a cover of DJ DMD's "25 Lighters" (https://www.youtube.com/wat…. Those dudes always kept an ear out.

Steel drum covers can be a dicey proposition, but the Bacao Rhythm & Steel Band recently did a great "Was Dog a Doughnut" cover: https://www.youtube.com/wat…