Let's do this.

Oh shit, I remember seeing the one where the dude kept talking about a "caper" as his pickup line! It was like the question "what the fuck are you doing?" had gotten a TV show!

"A ho fucks everybody. A bitch fucks everybody except you."

These women are being such non-pillows right now!

Definitely A+ work here.

Rule #1 of the internet is: Never read the comments

askhistorians is great, and I thoroughly enjoy reading the threads there.

I don't see any Any key!

"Chief Wiggum! Is this a bust?"
"Uh…yeah!"

I'LL HAVE WHAT SHE'S HAVING!

Exactly this. The legal precedent this case set is fucking atrocious.

Make that David Rasche, and you've got a deal.

"He's a big fuckin' Mastodon!" No he isn't—he's fuckin' Vader! Fuck!

Hi, I'm Troy McClure! You may remember me from such Saturday matinees as My-killa Gorilla and The Mortician Worked Overtime.

"I am a genius—"
"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE!"

Have you ever had a man greet you at the door with a smile and a nice country lobster roll?

Walsh's performance in the Grandmaster Dialectitian sketches is goddamn genius.

"There is nothing in the world more racist than a black person who notices racism!" is an extremely compelling argument.

Milo hates his own gayness, so that makes him a more "acceptable" gay (i.e. one who understands his inferiority to heterosexuals) to his fans. Also, he plays the "gay friend" role, as in, "I can't be homophobic—I have a gay friend!" And as a bonus, one of his favorite "I'm sooooooo shocking, aren't I?" bits is to…

"Truth" is kind of the new-school version of "A Concerned Citizen" or "A Concerned Taxpayer."