Amazing comment/username synergy there.

No, the bus from Speed! No, wait, the cruise ship from Speed 2!

Sounds like an Adult Swim-esque absurdist comedy. So yes, I definitely would watch it. I'm already composing the theme song in my head.

Yeah, I'm the same way. I'd love to do it—god, how I hate flying and dealing with airports and being too tall for coach-class seats and the security lines and GOSH DARNIT DING DANG FUCK!—but it just has so many down sides, largely because it's been intentionally crippled in favor of air travel. It's a travesty.

All I could think while reading this was, "This sounds like a real-life Troy McClure project."

Sounds like it was written by Joel Munt.

He told me he can't show it to me, but he has a gun.

Live free or don't.

And he spoke perfect French!

No, Rob Schneider was Bo Duke.

I'd go full "The Chris Farley Show" on it. I'm told the ladies love pathetic, sweaty incompetence.

"That song doesn't usually last three hours, but we got into a serious thing…and then I forgot how it ended."

"Hey, how are you guys doing that?"

I quote that line whenever I do something that's even the slightest bit philanthropic. It's just perfect.

The robot horns playing the Apple startup sound was an A+ joke.

Your ball is in. Parking lot.

"Oh, fuck Stummies!"
"No, Chris, I don't think I will fuck Stummies."

Oh, it was gloriously stupid, which is what I expected it to be. The holodeck scene was great—I was laughing myself silly when they showed Jason using the one coed stuffed in the sleeping bag to beat the other one to death.

I'm one of those people who said, "One for Jason Goes to Hell, please," out loud. I've done the same with the phrase, "One for Jason X, please."

Michael Bay vaped my childhood.