He locked that jailbait down.

The fuselage is made of bacon.

I thought you were throwing a little French in for good measure, then I realised 'Rien' is the reviewer's name.

I was 19 when I read Jurassic Park and I thought Ian Malcolm was so awesome that only a prick such as myself could play him. So after a few phone calls to Knopf and looking through agent listings for who repped Crichton, I discovered Amblin had the film rights.

Science is oft difficult on the female brain and the stress it puts upon it can result in petit mal seizures.

Jokes write themselves there.

I believe Yale freshman William Johnson is a boor, not a bore.

Thankfully you are around to remind us of the error of all of our ways. It must be vexing living in a world so filled with semantic issues just waiting to be illuminated by you. I, for one, am glad to have been a part of this teachable moment. Thank you, recognitions, for without you, we'd be blind to the horrific…

I'm sorry, has the Prime Meridian been moved?

It's 'according to whom'.

Cut the shit. You're being didactic.

You're talking to hear yourself speak.

You mean "Fu Man Hu".

I think it is on the Netflix now. I never watched it, even when it played on HBO as a kid.

I'll go one better: I think Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's is hilarious. I piss myself in his scenes. I know it's wrong. I knew it was wrong when I was a kid. But I'm gonna laugh. Oh well.

Damn, I made that joke two hours after you did. I usually catch these things when I scan the comments.

Idris Elba, of course, as Fu Manchu.

The reason this could not get made is far simpler : we are far more familiar with the Orient than we were back then. In 1913, Asia was an exotic land, traveled to only by merchants and missionaries. And like all things one knows little about, it is easier to malign or cast in terms of fear. No different than the…

I'm actually a book editor.

You should hear the conference calls. I know it is in English, but the argot is sickening. Language meant to obfuscate and not offend. It takes them twenty minutes to get onto another agenda item because everything begins with, "To make sure I understand you correctly, you are saying X should be X² and then we should…