But for me, nothing can top Bob Balaban neurotically obsessing over how the flower arrangements could accidentally poke someone's eyes out.

You should wear your cuirass.

No thanks, I'm going to enjoy the refreshingly bitter, ironic taste of OK Soda.

"You could have at least asked one of them to dinner afterwards, called their mothers who are probably worried sick, offered them your coat to cover up, but you, you just kept playing that clarinet."

He's lucky to be alive - 30-foot drop on his head is no joke. Hope he recovers.

I'd say he's the real world manifestation of Dobby, but that's such a blight on Dobby.

Yes, he was a colossal anti-Semite. But my point more was that the indulgences and corruption of the church in the 1400's and 1500's necessitated the Reformation.

It's awesome. I originally planned to skip it but got dragged opening night, and I'm so glad I did. Peter's friend Ned has some absolutely awesome lines.

Enter Martin Luther

CUM WEB would make a great vanity license plate.

You are being extremely charitable, and I commend you for your positive view of humanity. My sense is far more pessimistic, given that tour operators exist to squeeze every last drop of money out of concert-goers (there's a reason a bottle of water costs $10). If Green Day cancels, that's potentially thousands of…

During the Dyke March in Chicago, people said that seeing a rainbow flag with a Star of David on it made them feel "unsafe":

It's okay. Somebody apparently muzzled the ADL from being more forceful, so you're in the clear.

He's directing astute character studies of Paul Giamatti like he's Alexander Payne!

I think she looked at the open Ark of the Covenant and her skull is about to implode.

Exactly. The entire point of copyright expiration and the estate tax were to ensure that everyone had incentive to become productive members of society, and not to enrich 3-4 generations of increasingly spoiled descendants.

Still, Jaws' lone song is a drinking song, which is after all the genesis of America's National Anthem. Advantage Jaws!

I just feel like Goatse so well-encapsulates the Oreo ethos; two rigid parts around a soft, creamy center.

I feel like Tubgirl has a certain "Orange Smoothie" flavor going for it.

Go Vintage. Go Goatse.