Never mind that, I'll join you! Shake hands with Friar Duck!

And this is why we're all fucked in America - the megacorporations owning the major broadcast media don't make as much money if it's a blowout. They thrive on our fear and know that we'll watch more if we're nervous about the outcome.

I'm mostly distracted by thinking about what TV has dials and cathode ray tubes any more, amirite? Good luck getting a 4-inch neck to hold up that 50-pound monster.

It's not the pre-Thanksgiving sale at Neiman Marcus?

Ideally, you'd be Charles Boyle from the 9-9, eating an Avogadro sandwich.

This is a wonderful story to spread widely, and while I'm glad to read it's being made into a film, I hate both myself and the booze I have been drinking for the last 3 hours for focusing mostly on the actress' last name in the context of this historic episode.

Wahoo, Nebraska.

Penis dentatis?

More like Dr. Flavin Oygerson, but sure.

Yeah, I'm not buying the swollen tongue angle. Parse what he said: at no point does he actually say "I never had cancer," he says "I have no cancer". I read his statement — lovely sentiments aside — as indicating that he was diagnosed with an undisclosed form of cancer 2 years ago at UCLA (probably oropharyngeal/base…

My take on his "mistake" when I was watching it live was that it's the first time in history baseball has been played this late at Wrigley Field…which is true, since previous World Series used to end long before Halloween.

You don't need to react, TJ! The something was inside you, all along.

Nowhere in this review did I see anything about idiotic people being mutated into green, vegetarian slime-food.

Aren't you a hungry Goriya?

Way to shit on someone else's feelings, Mr. Aptly-Named. Given that Patton is a long-time friend of the site and most people here have perused and enjoyed at least one of his many projects, I think it's newsworthy.

"Stanley Kubrick shoots so many BLANKS, he keeps his wife waiting up at night."

Hmm…it's supposed to be doing a little dance.

I knew ZMF, et11robot, I worked with him and loved him. Et11robot, you are no ZMF.

Replace a few pronouns, and that's how you have Trump mere percentage points from the White House.

"Quick, everybody! Let's not nominate Frank Ocean so the psychopath doesn't show up again!"