[OMINOUS ORGAN CHORDS]

I curled the corners of my mouth up, ever so slightly, to indicate a faint whiff of bemusement.

Check yourself right at the door

On sinus issues, actually.

Iron Eagle

In this setting, I can see it as being kind of brilliant. It's a way to get an interviewer to let his/her guard down without getting them drunk, making for (hopefully) more interesting conversation.

I'm imagining a lot of "poorly framed shots that hide the stuntpeople who look nothing like Dianne Wiest and William H. Macy" action.

Yeah, that medical-grade thong is kind of hard to tear your eyes away from.

Guess he should have finished that Harvard degree!

Nothing About This Review Is "Legitimately Amazing" Or Any Different From A Standard Yelp Review Other Than Its Low-Wattage Celebrity Authorship, Internet.

Attacked by the Wizard of Id?

Anyone checked on Cookie Monster? Now who will tell him not to eat the paintings at the Met??

Xerostomia.

Pre-liver transplant Ron Swanson

So pick up the phone, and with the tiny taps
Dial 1-900-909-RAPS

Chucklefucks.

And this is why we will never see another Johnson as a vice-presidential candidate.

"It's your MOM, dude!"

Clearly he's off-yellow, like a good Springfielder.

This reminds me of that stand-up bit about how McDonald's marketing strategy was dreamed up by a German performance artist: