To say nothing of the Monica Lewinsky Affair. I love Clinton, but I'd have so much more respect for him if he'd just looked Kenneth Starr in the eye, and said, "Yeah, I let her blow me. Big effing deal. Can I go back to work now?" I forget how prudish we were back in the '90s.

To paraphrase a colleague, "Nixon's only mistake was in getting caught; if he hadn't, he would've been one of the greatest Presidents in American history." If he'd had Reagan's PR team & slick camera-ready charisma, Watergate would've gone the way of Iran-Contra.

Madam, I object to your opinions on this theme park. On the contrary, there is nothing MORE fun than trying to kill teenagers.

Me too. If she can get smacked by John C. Reilly in all of her movies, I'd see every one.

12/18/15? Great, that gives me roughly two years to kill myself before I'm forced to witness this turdball.

My mom found my copy of Pungent Stench's "Been Caught Buttering" album that year (if you're not familiar with it, the cover art is a photograph of a bisected cadaver head french-kissing itself. The music, while awesome, is just as disturbing the cover art). What made it worthwhile was watching her listen to it and…

Your level of fortitude for getting that far into "Great Expectations" is indeed admirable. Fun fact: Dickens got paid by the word for his stories, which somewhat provides a rational explanation for his verbal diarrhea. Regardless, the fiction inevitably suffers for his avarice.

Look at some of Tara Reid's later "Sexy Scientist" roles. You should be cured within ninety minutes.

America! Fuck yeah!
(Why do I feel that between this and the Kid Rock Army trailer, my teenaged nephew will be helping to invade Iran within the next year or so).

"Ms. .45" is a fun vigilante movie as well. But Ferrara will have my eternal respect for the "Bad Lieutenant" scene where Keitel pulls over the two teenaged girls: "C'mon…show me how you suck a guy's cock. SHOW ME. You, you show me your ass!"

Calling Soul Asylum awesome is like praising a turtle for being stomp-worthy: it's a dumb animal that has no idea of its impending stomping, and is powerless to prevent it regardless. Only a complete psychopath would gain enjoyment from stomping on a turtle, or, likewise, dissing Soul Asylum.

Hating Spin Doctors is like stomping on a turtle. Don't like Spin Doctors? Just take JackFM off your car's FM presets (you'll also avoid Lenny Kravitz, Smashmouth, and Blues Traveler by doing so). When your band is relegated to a minor gag on "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia," you know your career has been a joke.

Agreed. No matter what the current trends or fashions, there seems to be no end of need for films about guys prancing about in silken waistpants.

Holy shit, this review went all over the place. The mere notion of sitting through the actual film is giving me a headache.

…and that makes you sound like you're not a lot of fun at parties.

Eh, it sounds better than it was. Her handjob technique was a little TOO practiced & efficient, if you get my meaning. Granted, it's a marketable skill, but I wasn't enterprising enough at the time to become her pimp.

The most obvious jump for me was to assume it was about Neil Armstrong's faked moon landing. Faked or not, it helped show the Commies who was boss.

How many more "times" of the living dead can there be? "Tea-time of The Living Dead"? "Brunch of The Living Dead"? "Mid-afternoon Nap of The Living Dead"?

Heh. I dated a girl in '93 who wanted to perform with Up With People. She actually interviewed with them, but ignored my advice to leave out her part-time job of stripping. They said they'd give her a call.

So even the nerds are buff these days?