Bad Plumber. Bad Social Worker. Bad Doctor. Bad Insurance Adjuster. Bad Accountant. Bad Grocery Store Cashier. Bad City Councilman. Bad Sign-Spinner. Check it out- I'm a screenwriter!

You read my mind. Maybe instead buy some "Reign in Blood" era Slayer & a fifth of bourbon, and grow a set of balls?

I saw this movie once and immediately forgot about it. I'm sorry, AV Club Overlords, but I must conscientiously object to your order to "WATCH THIS".

"London 2: He Doesn't Have Hair This Time, And He Punches More People"

Come on, she's unattractive by any traditional standards, but she dances, and says PG13-approved curse words. It's like she's turning the paradigm on its head! I hope she twerks in this movie, and/or sticks out her tongue, because THAT would be a totally off-the-wall laff-o-rama. Oh, the zaniness!!!

I've heard rumors of that being in the works, but my hopes aren't high. Carpenter hasn't made a decent film in about 15 years, and casting a young Plissken would be tricky given how iconic Russell was in the role.

They're also dumb enough to register as Libertarians, which effectively keeps them out of the Primary races. One of my most smug, self-satisfactory moments was hearing callers on talk radio whine about how they'd been turned away at the voting booth, and their "right as an American citizen was being infringed upon by…

Yeah Page is the guy living in the past. He hasn't done anything interesting since "Outrider", and even that was all Plant. The documentary where he's trying to "hang" with Jack White was fantastic. Ever been in a situation where absolutely everything feels incredibly uncomfortable & awkward (i.e., when your friend…

Hey, now if we can just get Kurt Russell to take John Carpenter's phone calls, we might have a viable "Escape from New York" sequel in the works!

Oh, there's a circle jerk on the horizon. Get in on it while the gettin's good, hombre.

Agreed. Keith Moon could destroy John Bonham. Bonham died after 40 shots of vodka? What a pussy. That was a Tuesday morning for Moon. And besides, Zep never killed anybody, which sort of makes them pussies too. The Stones were indirectly responsible for at least a couple of deaths, but The Who takes first prize…

I agree with that argument; guys like Lou Reed or Neil Young can't sing a note to save their lives, but I'll listen to "Down By The River" a million times before whatever pablum Michael Buble is churning out.
…and I should add that Neil Young can't play for shit either, but his sloppy one-note solos are fuckin' epic.

I was raised on the Tascam 4-track recorders, so out of necessity, I had to be resourceful (you had about three months before the drive motor started to burn out, and you'd have wow & flutter all over whatever shitty demo your shitty high school band was trying to record. Page's masturbatory drivel about "pioneering"…

Try listening to it backwards. I believe if you play "Over The Hills and Far Away" backwards, you can hear Plant sing, "Oooohhh, Satan is really lord" Of course, you kids with all digital technology have it easy these days; I actually had to crack open the cassette, flip the tape over, and re-spool it before I could…

"Buy me ANYTHING with Larry Csonka on it. I'll PAY you!" —Troy.

Weird, I generally like classic rock, but I only know Paul Simon as the guy who was in a band with that dude from "Carnal Knowledge", and that he fucks Edie Brickell.

There was the potential to meet Jessica Alba later at the conference, so I thought it would be a good bargaining chip for a free pass of my own. She (neither my girlfriend or Alba) was going for it, however.

Always been intimidated by the Teles. I once read an interview with Alex Lifeson and he said, "The Telecaster is a very unforgiving instrument". As indifferent as I am toward Rush, I do know that Alex Lifeson is a far better player than me, so I figured it was best not to go there.
(Inevitably, if you go to rent…

It would've been so freakin' sweet to see him on a panel with Max Brooks. I attended a lecture from Brooks once, and the dude was unflappable: "Everything in "The Zombie Survival Guide" is based on actual tactics from history." He also did everything he could legally do to distance himself from the "World War Z"…

"Blues-machine"? OK, now I just know you're fuckin' with me. You automatically associate an Ibanez with Steve Vai? That seven-string monstrosity was essentially Vai's penis extension, and was the point when started losing respect for Ibanez. Well, that, and the Reb 'Winger" Beach model they produced. Vai would…