I actually got a perfect score on the analogy section.  However, that fact seems to impress potential employers even less than it impresses you.

I remember the dollar features on the weekends.  That's where I had the pleasure of taking a group of developmentally-disabled adults to see "Baby Geniuses".  I've literally had more fun having broken bones set.

The only comparison I can make is Veronica Lake's performance in "Flesh Feast".  The nazsploitation film where she's about 70 years old, and dying of liver failure.  Granted, Arnold is probably still in pretty good shape, but I'm sure the analogy is apparent:  Veronica Lake is to Flesh Feast as Arnold…

I was still stubbornly holding onto my Slayer and Overkill tapes while the much cooler kids were all talking about this "Seattle Scene".

It was probably too much of a tangent for this article, but "The Dark Knight Returns" deserved a mention.  Reading an angrier-than-usual Batman beating the shit out of right-wing tool Superman was so, so satisfying.

Wait, wait— everyone in the film is a stoner, right?  'cause that would be so freakin' RAD!

Holy shit, it's an actual website.  Well played, internet.

Bitch bitch bitch.  Y'know, I'd be more than happy to pay "reparations" to every African-American who whines about their ancestors' slavery, if that would actually shut them up and solve the problem.  Trust me: two weeks later, they'll be complaining about something else.  Subscribe to my newsletter at www.freerepublic…

Another Arrested Development circle-jerk, huh?

Never mind; it was The Von Bondies.

I think my band opened for them once.  However, details from that era are sketchy at best.

Hey, if you haven't done anything wrong, then you have nothing to worry about, right?  Wait, there's a black guy in the white house?

Hey Ya is easily the worst song ever.  Mark my face well, hipster, for it will be the last thing you see.

The base of the skull is the more effective striking point.  But by all means, if you have the chance to punch Santana anywhere, go nuts.

I like Sunny Day Reel Estate!!!!!

Sure, you say that now.  All that Jim Carrey Pet Detective shit was always horrible, and you're just coming on board NOW???  If I could go back in time and assassinate someone's mother, hands down it would be Mrs. Carrey.  Mrs. Hitler? No.  Mrs. Mao?  Nope.  Mrs. Stalin?  Not even a longshot.

In the grand scheme of things, this song is a fairly minor offense.  I'll take it a thousand times over Sugar Ray, Blues Traveler, or that "Hey Ya!" song.

I.ve. st.uck thi.ngs into. periods.  The. tri.ck is to pu.t lots of. towels down be.fore.

"No, I was IN Hustler!"

A police force?  The FREE MARKET will solve the problem!  Paramedics?  Yup, the FREE MARKET, folks!  Enlarged prostate?  There's a FREE MARKET solution for that too!