Sounds like all of that growly/screamy Norwegian shit my friend forces me to listen to whenever he agrees to give me a ride somewhere.  After 30 minutes, I'm just like, "Dude, you got any Duran Duran"?

Never, ever feel bad for Lars Ulrich.  Limit it to indifference and/or mild contempt.

Megadeth recently re-released "Peace Sells".  The EQ & compression are jacked up to Rob Zombie-levels, but it's not bad.  Unfortunately, there's no saving "…and Justice for All".

Again, stretching the definition of "thrash", but NYC Hardcore band Norman Bates & The Showerheads were the most awesome band ever.  They sounded like Metallica, but without all the slow stoner bullshit.

Dark Angel and Overkill had some good tunes.  Pushing the genre to the extreme here, but Pungent Stench was incredible— the "Been Caught Buttering" album is worth tracking down for the cover art alone.  Those first two Venom albums, while officially NWOBHM, are freakin' great, as is the first Witchfinder General album…

The legendary SOD album— as contrived as "What's That Noise?" was, it was still hilarious when I was a teenager.

Heller…I love this kid!  A) Metallica has never been, nor will ever be, as awesome as Slayer.  B) If Slayer ever made a mistake (apart from firing Dave Lombardo), it was making the most incredible 28 minutes of music ever in "Reign In Blood".  They did an admirable job later with "Seasons in The Abyss", but there's…

In a week rampant with bad decisions, this is probably the best decision that could possiblly have been made by anyone.

Fuck off!  I'm 'batin'!

Yeah, I remember Reggie running around, and thinking, "Dude, you've got a four-barrelled shotgun, just shoot the little fuckers!"  When he finally did, it was all the more satisfying.

I think Scrimm's still working, believe it or not.  I saw him do a bit part in an episode of "Alias" a few years back.  I almost shit myself.

Brings to mind my all-time favorite movie quote: "Hey, it's Cole!  Any of you guys order an asshole from room service?"  Ahhh, Bachelor Party-era Tom Hanks…so much potential.

"Family Guy"'s insane tangents seem positively reasonable now.  "Rob Schneider is THE STAPLER!!!"

Ator: "NOOOOOO!!!!"

Wasn't Rusty the son?  I think Chevy's character was named "Clark".  If the son ends up nailing the mom, it'll certainly be zany!

The "Cold Hearted Snake" video provided me with months' worth of masturbation material back when I was a teenager, before I realized how gay it was.  I can still successfully rub one out to it every once in a while.

"It is beer, beer, beer that makes us feel so queer in the Corpse”?  Now I've had some wild nights of drinking, but I've managed to avoid gay necrophilia (so far).

Full-time child-rearing can be exhausting.  That's why I limit my time with child-rears to twenty-minute sessions.

Becky?  If you're there, please pick up the phone and talk to me.  I've changed, and things will be different this time, I promise.  Becky?  BECKY?  Pick up the phone you STUPID BITCH!!!!

But I just love that Andy Capper…it's hilarious when he comes home from the pub and Flo chases him around with a rolling pin.