Isn't there an extended passage in the second book where Lisbeth goes shopping in Ikea? I think that was the point where I gave it the old Dorothy Parker heave-ho.

The correct response to those people is to hijack their narrative. Post something like: 'Buck up, buddy, didn't the doctor say the ointment would clear it up within a few months?'

CHRIS BROWN KICKS (p.t.o.)

I met World once at a signing. He was surprisingly…down-to-earth.

But with pigtails. So, much scarier.

I think you mean the Dark Knight. The Goddamn Batman would only alienate mainstream audiences by, you know, forcing Robin to eat rats and calling people retarded.

Paranormal Activity 3 at least had a memorably lame tagline: 'Discover how the activity began.' I had some mild fun mentally applying it to the posters of other prequels.

You're in the right there.

Now, now. Let's not just go throwing around comparisons to Barry Goldwater.

That's brilliant.

Merlot is Paul Giamatti's 'Are we having fun yet?'

Speculation! It's about Walt Disney sponsoring a secret space program under the cover of his theme parks so that he can establish a city on the moon, with no Jews or unions admitted.

Also there are some large-bottomed women around, because that is what Sir Mix-A-Lot likes.

Meanwhile, somewhere, that Machiavellian genius Sir Mix-A-Lot is laughing maniacally at the success of his Yojimbo gambit.

It was a very persuasive statue. Maybe you had to see it.

Sandman had the potential to be a visually interesting villain - the scene where he assembles himself grain by grain is still a thing of beauty. Just a pity he was then given nothing to do in a terrible film.

Let's speculate on how they'll fit that ridiculous fake-abs-and-horns costume into the dark n' gritty tone of the reboots. My guess: it will be a sex thing.

So many possibilities for different action figure varieties…

With casting calls for 'Luke Starkiller'.

I've searched my feelings, and also Google. It checks out.