This picture's scarier than anything I've ever seen in the Theater.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Why does this dude look like …
he just walked out of THE VILLAGE?

Pointed Sticks?
Oh, oh, oh. Pointed sticks, AYE?! Fresh fruit not good enough for you, aye?

He belongs to the "batshit insane" wing of the Republican party? Okay … so the Republicans that want a national I.D. card and would like to nuke Iran … those are the sane ones, I'm guessing.

Congratulations!
Now where's Bag of Hammers at? I'm sure he'll be here in no time trying to twist this into an anti-Ron Paul, oh the Baby doesn't believe in the Gold Standard either rant.

Also …
Who the Hell trades game show tapes? What kinda weirdo would do something like that? Jesus Christ.

Basically …
Any AV Club staff member who hasn't partaken in one of these nerdgasms for at least one year of their lives needs to be fired immediately. They're liars … only around to steal the information that the Pop-Collared Overlord seeks!

ERRORS - Go Chicago public schools!
"Blonde Ambition made a similar decisions."

Fahrenheit 1/18

At least you admitted to sucking at the game. I don't know you could guess that he'd be intimidated by Sean Penn and not Steve Martin. Any comedian would probably love to be in the same room with Sean Penn, because he's such a douchebag.

I will allow you to expound on the intracasies of my urethra, Franklin. Commence.

Whitney Matheson's so hip.
I bet she doesn't trim the hair on her vagina! It just grows and grows. Those aren't black socks she's wearing.

Oh God. Dream Theatre sucks ass, by the way. James Labrie is such a bitch.

I wish I could blame it on being drunk.

Oh don't worry, PowertomyPeePee. I was being braggy. Actually succeeding with one of the dumbest ruses (sp?) ever feels like a ESPN highlight to me.

No, but I did dip my finger into it and taste it. It looks just like Tony's. Fuckin' Yanks trying to kill all the Southerners.

Become a journalist. Even Morgan Spurlock can get press passes these days. I'm not being sarcastic, by the way …

Oh yeah …
And the "Ring 2" sent me some 15-minute, unmarked VHS tape with some goofy story that supposedly bridged the two films. I thought the tape was a cool idea, though. Good thing I still had my VCR in storage.

Awesome!
I'll have to check your old stuff, but right before Hurricane Katrina blew me out of New Orleans in '05, I received a wooden crate for "The Skeleton Key," than included a mason jar filled with brick dust, lots of hay, and a bottle opener that was shaped like a key, if I'm not mistaken.