Personally, I'm still wondering how Archie exists in the Simpsons universe as a real person and a comic-book character.

I can't be objective about Green Day, Offspring, NOFX, Sublime (is Sublime punk? I guess so), Rancid,etc. because all I can think about when I hear them is standing by myself at parties in middle school being sad and counting the minutes until it was time for my dad to pick me up. I'm just glad Sleater-Kinney wasn't…

No girl is worth giving up seats directly behind your favorite team's dugout.

Dude, you need to get laid.

Glenn apparently forgot all about the CDC.

I'm ashamed to say I didn't pick up on that right away. I guess I'm just so used to terrible shooting in this show…

It'd probably be Throwing Muses.

How can Brian have a son who's older than he is?

Boy, do I hate the term "guilty pleasure". If you feel guilty about taking pleasure in something that's not illegal or immoral, there's something wrong with you.

I told you I'd shoot, but you didn't believe me! WHY DIDN'T YOU BELIEVE ME?

I feel like in a few years, she's going to pull a Mandy Moore and disown everything she's doing right now. Of course, Mandy Moore had an excuse.

I think they just assume that girls will play with boy toys, but boys would just throw poor Marceline out the car window or something.

I had a Ken doll when I was a kid. He lived in the sewer with the Ninja Turtles.

This place is slowly but surely turning into Media Matters.

Umm…there are a lot of practicing Christians in indie rock.

It's always seemed to me like he got into hip-hop only because it was more profitable than selling crack. He's always left me cold-even going back to Reasonable Doubt.

You know why there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time, Bob Geldof? Because it's summer there.

29, New Girl, let's just say it'd have the wealthiest audience if I didn't watch it.

Aaaaaand that's why I never get up until 11.

The Last Picture Show