I once watched "Henry: Portrait Of A Serial" on a date with a girl. Halfway through we turned the sound off to make out.

She needed the concert to think Rollins was a creep?

The straight guy who is worried about handling one woman.

I used to talk like that about Keith Entwistle on dates. Shut the fuck up.

Oh, Jesus, what a dope! I hope he married the dumb chick who didn't approve of laughing at "Final Destination".

Oh! I just got the "I wouldn't even take myself out" joke!

I took a watermelon to see "The Watermelon Man". Just my luck, it was the only racist watermelon in the World.

"Carrie"

Any woman who doesn't love "Beauty And The Beast" has hair growing on the inside of her face!

Ever date Billy Drago? JEEZUS!

Our Classic Rock Station plays Pink Floyd, Bob Segar's "Turn The Page", and that Metal Song about how every time the guy sees lightning it always brings him down. And that's it.

How long until she let you out of the bag?

I dumped a girl cause she didn't like Monty Python.

Did he ask them if they fuck girls together?

Hey, that's better than showing "Mysterious Skin" to the guys from Neighborhood Bar.

"Star 80" is not a good Movie to watch with your Girlfriend. Neither is that fucking Movie where Jody Foster gets raped on the pinball machine. Or, for some reason, "Who'll Stop The Rain".

I didn't know it had been cancelled. That blows. At least now we can use it to club future animated shows that suck over the head with.

I have to buy a decent TV and get cable. Between "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" and this I feel like I'm really missing something for the first time in years.

Did I tell you about when I was watching "Chicago"?

My face does not have shit in it. It's up in the top of my skull where my brain should have been.