Oh, yeah, I'd fuck her silly. But she's not cute.

Don't worry about it! You gave me an opurtunity to be really fuckin' snotty and that's what it's all about!

You know how you get weird food cravings when you're sick? I was once so sick I went to a gas station for one of those sandwiches.

I like all that stuff. But looking at the late Dana makes me sad.

Horse Porn? Where we you last night when I was looking for a Asian, Teen, Lesbian, Ebony, or MILF gallery I haven't already seen a hundred times before?

"Holiday Road"? Wasn't that the song those cute Frat boys came to the AV Club office to sing in the Copy Room? That was cool.

She was funny in "Office Space"? Being too fucking uptight to put a couple of god damn buttons on her suspenders is funny?

I recommended you to Brand as a Gag Writer. He looked at me and said "YOU like em. eh?".

Ted will be Van Halen's new Lead Singer after Russell Brand signs up Dave as his Side kick for his FX Late Night Series.

"I was in 'Cocaine:One Man's Seduction'! Pamela Bellwood went down on me in front of Dennis Weaver TWICE!!"

"Women LOVED me! How about you, Mister 'Oh, I Was In A Tarentino Movie'? Any women love you? FUCK YOU!!!"

"And take a shower. You look like shit."

I want to take back that post about Mindy being "cute". I didn't mean "I want to fuck her" cute, I meant "Hey! Look at that!" cute. I've been meaning to say this for a while.

"I used to be good looking!! Were YOU ever good looking, Rainn? I was fuckin' BEAUTIFUL!!!"

Aye, Freebird!!

I actually finished reading a Nick Cave novel!

I remember when they had a Sit Com on MTV. Mike Royce was on it as a College Professor and it was funny when they would listen to recordings of his lectures and he'd laugh at his own jokes. I think Royce Wrote and Produced it. Michael Showalter appreared as an "Asshole". Or as "Himself"? At one point "MMM Bop" was…

I still laugh when I think of that stupid girl in that video. And remember the one about her Family where they're playing for all her miserable relatives and the drunken Uncle with the black beard is all "FREEBIRD!!!"? And they all go to the coast to pose and it's so windy they almost fly out into the sea? Oh, man!

I thinking about how long it's been since I've seen McLovin'. And then I realized "So what's the problem?".

It's weird when Big Pete shits himself.