Garp is not a great adaptation, but it looks like fucking Citizen Cane next to Hotel New Hampshire.  The Hotel New Hampshire movie is kind of like what would happen if you put a John Irving novel in a bag, had five hobos shit in it, and then put it up on screen.

C'mon
Dumbo being rocked to sleep by his mom through the bars of her cage while "Baby Mine" plays. Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, sadder. Fuck Ricky Schroeder.

C'mon
Dumbo being rocked to sleep by his mom through the bars of her cage while "Baby Mine" plays. Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, sadder. Fuck Ricky Schroeder.

C'mon
Dumbo being rocked to sleep by his mom through the bars of her cage while "Baby Mine" plays. Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, sadder. Fuck Ricky Schroeder.

She is walking, talking chlamydia.

"Mediocre"?!? The original Arthur was "mediocre"? Is this truly the feeling of everyone on The A.V. Club Staff? Did the entire staff really get together to write this article and, during the writing, came to the consensus that the original Arthur was "mediocre"? Perfect? No. But much better than "mediocre".

No "Hell Is for Children"?
Be a good little boy and you'll get a new toy
Tell Grandma you fell off the swing.

D-Box
Same idea as D-Bag, right?

EotS
Nice to see some love for Enemy of the State. (The movie and I are close, which is why I'm comfortable with the above acronym.) Not a perfect movie, but consummately watchable.

Blerg
I fucking hated that book. Awful. Disturbing. Not worthy of the man who starred in Evan Almighty.

I felt exactly the same about these specials as a kid, Noel. I was a sucker for anything featuring more than the regular Superfriends, especially Green Lantern and Flash. But I stopped short of seeking this out as an adult. I don't think there's enough weed in the world to get me through these.

Can't Judge
I'm afraid I'm in no position to judge the quality of Gretchen's collection because I didn't bother to look up from my magazine after the first diaper toddled down the runway. My wife said, "You're not watching this?" I said, "I don't give a shit."

As someone who was forced to bear witness to this frightening show because his wife had it on last night, I can confirm that it is, indeed, truly, truly awful.

It definitely had that air of "Wait fifteen minutes, then say I'm needed in a meeting." You can't blame him, though. Who'd want to sit next to Padma that long. Oh, wait, I would.

I just rewatched Flirting with Disaster this week and, sweet farting Jesus, Jenkins is so fucking funny.

No Good Can Come of This
Aaaaand there's the 4th horseman. Apocalypse team complete.

Yeah, see, if the Library of Congress had bothered to ask my opinion, I would've told them Wonderfulness over I Started Out…

I've enjoyed the series up until now, but hadn't found anything hard to watch. This episode, however, was fucking horrifying. Add me to the list of people who will be treating this very different from BoB. This is good, but I never need to see that mother trying to hand someone her kid before she blows up again.

Fu-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-uck!
Stupid, stupid Comedy Central. You miserable sack of cats' assholes.

@Invisible Swordsman