I was born in the wrong era. I think I could've made a great crackpot inventor, or maybe I would've been in the patent medicine game. The difference is, you could make a living at it back then!

As a patriotic American, I am offended. USA! USA! USA!

That's right. Even better.

Rebecca de Mornay? That woman who works at the homeless shelter?

You're gonna look funny trying to eat corn on the cob with no FUCKING TEETH.

@donaldduckdunn:disqus: Followed by a perfectly delivered "Move over, Goddamnit!"

"I bet you libs want this smut in the libraries! You better keep it out of mine! Here's the address and phone number! Do you need pen or piece of paper? Oh, you can remember? No, you should write it down…"

I, for one, insist children learn about giant praying mantises from parents, as God intended!

Ha ha! Imogen Poots! That's not a person's name!

Ha, no worries, I've never even read it. Just a comic book where a character makes the exact same mistake and is corrected.

It's "Picture of Dorian Gray." I know this because the two phrases were discussed in DC Comics' "Starman" series. I'm not trying to be a pedant about literature, but I AM a pedant about comics!

From the journal of Nugchach:

Actually, there was a second black person in "Ghostbusters," and he has my favorite line of the movie: "The walls in the 53rd precinct were bleeding. How do you explain that?"

When he begins to learn about the thing we hew-mons call "love."

What a fun, sexy time for them.

I don't know what this Arsenio Hall thing you mention is, but these are actually pretty entertaining. If you haven't seen them, they're little fake documentaries about airheaded and/or insane celebrities trying to make something, and usually various terrible things happen to/because of some of them. The actual…

They work there? Butts off!

THIS ALSO IS NOT A JOKE: My wife has almost all the episodes of "Alien Life Form" (or "ALF," as I like to call it) on VHS from when she was a young girl. They're pretty awesome to watch, if only for the commercials.

Oh, Overlook!

Because they're in love…?