What would you say…. you do here?

Every damn NIGHT?  on the TELEPHONE? 

Are you getting a 404?

Right behind you man.  [looks suspiciously at the horizon]

"Would someone get this walking carpet out of my pants?"

Don't mess with the bull, young man.

Subway.

Just a grease spot on the L&N!

I have a standing agreement with my lawyer: the moment we hear Cheney dies, we drop what we're doing and go for drinks.  No exceptions.

I thought it was a motorcycle.

I drove that bitch from Florida to Chicago.

I thought this one was thoughtful, from a guy who I didn't think was…

And more chupacabra. 

We're never, ever….   gonna tell you.

I read this comment to the melody of Girl From Ipanema.

Dear Dikachu,

Um…  your nosehair is quite becoming (?).

Don't be short with him.

So you watch it get high?

Your third mistake is out back, fucking the dog.