Dude, if it wasn't for the graduated income tax, they would have all invented magical new sources of limitless energy by now. (That is, by the way, the lesson of Atlas Shrugged. No exaggeration.)

Let me guess: these people also happen to be socially awkward white males between the ages of 18 and 45?

I'm envisioning a collection of Ayn Rand cheesecake, which has been roundly rejected by the free market.

I have very mixed feelings about Family Guy, but I've always thought this was one of their funnier stupid cut-away bits.

You're welcome. I'm very happy with the way this thread turned out, even though most of the response jokes were better than my original. Now I know the pride Master Splinter felt when he realized the Ninja Turtles had surpassed him in fighting ability.

Regardless of what you think of 2, I can't see how anyone could think that 3 is better. The central premise of the series allows the characters to travel anywhere in time, and they spend the whole movie dicking around in one of the most played-out movie settings of all time.

Sondra, did you put your dildos in the dishwasher, AGAIN? *cue longest sustained audience laugh in TV history since that guy almost got a knife to the balls on Johnny Carson*

Rush, don't you have a talk radio show you should be hosting right now?

1, 2, 3 for me, with 3 the distant third. For me, 3 just felt like a rehash of 1 with cowboy hats.

Taco Bell? Who are the ad wizards who came up with that one?

Don Lemon's sudden personality shift from "affable CNN douchebag" to "guy who calls out CNN on all their stupid shit on the air" has been wonderful to behold.

There's really only about 4 fast food chains I'll generally even considering patronizing: Chick-fil-a (although their support for gay-bashing groups has me on the fence), Bojangles', Wendy's, and Popeye's.

Now I'm even more confused. Sonic is arguable worse than McDonald's, and is known for really lax sanitation standards (at least in my home state).

I'm trying to figure out how Nancy Grace fits into the "tolerable" end of the spectrum. Maybe because by dancing, she will have less time to shout accusations at people?

Also, I think that might have been Robert Blake's defense. Although the two cases are easy to confuse.

Better than R. Kelly's "the guy in the video is my brother even though my brother doesn't look anything like me" and/or "the police staged the video, then used computers to put my head on another person's body" take-your-pick approach?

If it was on the same flight, maybe it was the same stewardess?

Are you from one of those countries that doesn't "get" sarcasm?

Is there, perchance, a rhyming quip that might help me remember that axiom?

I kid, but honestly, the above statement is something that my 16-year-old self probably would have said unironically.