Aww, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!

Look, I know the supernatural isn't something that's supposed to happen, but it does happen.

I'm awake at night, but that's when I go burgling.

Not as long as you follow it up by stating who's the most attractive man in comedy. Then you're just being Fair & Balanced.

I assumed they were getting in to the bond rating market.

(other) is unproven, but his upside is huge.

Get your tickets now for Garoppopalooza!

The stage musical version is really the way to experience it.

Normally if I saw someone soliciting pics to VH1TopModel@gmail.com, I would be 100% sure it was fake. Now I don't know what to think.

Where have you gone, O Cinnabon?
A nation turns its hungry eyes to you…

Unless she has a job heating up water, I think she's safe. For now.

Shit, you're of course right. When I hear the line in my head, it sounds like a Ralph line. Nancy Cartwright does voice Rod/Todd & Ralph similarly, but that's no excuse. My penance is to leave the comment unedited so all may see my shame and offer a silent, judgmental "Ha Ha", just like Kearney would.

Also starring Ralph Wiggum as one of the Torsos.

Family lore has it that my grandfather made a modest fortune in the 30's working as a bootloader.

Humanity, Jesus Christ. Have you 2 not met before?

And the sad truth is I don't even eat them, I just use the tusks to make high-end cell phone cases.

Let's greenlight this puppy. I can have Dean Cain on set by the end of the week!

I didnt truly appreciate the difference in quality until I started making my own spear points and hunting my own mammoths.

I can put my own mayonnaise in the sun, thank you.

SO many of your past comments make sense now.