Almost every day I, too, am surprised by Americans' ignorance of Rudyard Kipling.

Sometimes you just want something innocuous on in the background while you're doing laundry or other chores.

That letter, along with Dee's reading of it and Mac's pantomime of "home run" is a goddamned thing of beauty.

"You ever notice that you can run on a taxiway but you can't catch a taxi on a runway?"

I blame porn. It's really taken a lot of the steam out of step-family-themed movies.

I think he's being sarcastic, but…yada, yada…I don't even know anymore.

Missing from any mention so far (in my quick scan):

I like that the A7X fansite message boards, or wherever you're pulling these from, register a date/time stamp down to the very minute. These guys are more exacting in their record-keeping than I would have expected.

Plus he'd have to be smart enough to figure out the codes.*

Yeah, everybody wanted bigger bombs after WWII. But a few years ago, all the popular magazines were talking about briefcase nukes. Bombs are like ties, basically.

Don't knock unsolved mysteries or Robert Stack will rise from the grave and kick your ass.

Damnit, Fluttershy, I told you to stop hanging out with these losers! You're never gonna get on the straight-and-narrow associating with the go-nowhere dregs of the AVClub. I thought we talked about you getting that HVAC certification. I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.

Well that isn't funny.

What are SenateR's? Are they cooler than regular Senators? Or would that be Sen8Rz?

It's hard to walk and masturbate. Not impossible, mind you, just difficult.

It only barely qualifies as a joke, period.

I don't have a time machine, just these 10,000 spoons.

If we said yes, would it stop you from making it anyway?

COMMUNITY CHEST?!

I dunno, you usually have to physically interact with other people to get disease-ridden.