Don't the Simpsons jokes just auto fill in the comments when Australia is mentioned? Where are you, chazzwazzers?

We showed number 11 to a room full of school children. Here's what happened next!

Did the AV Club ombudsman approve this? Or my union rep? Don't we have rights here?

If you criminalize love then only criminals will be lovers.

I have been needing something lately. Could it be a shot of B12?

How does she feel about backer rod?

Careful, boys. This one's fire-rated. *makes sizzling noises*

I would've gone with double-hung, but I don't tell a man how to make glazing jokes. Not since the war, anyway.

I heard he kicked him right in the genitives.

If it's dignity he wants, he can work the door at my strip club, You've Got Male.

Ouch! My childhood!

I had a bake sale once to buy Bolivia a new parachute. I think it was just for their kindergarten gym class, but I never followed up.

Luckily, your overturning washer will put out the fire from your Galaxy Note. Its win-win!

I just clap and they throw nuggets in my mouth like a trained seal.

Hey, Clusterfuck's isn't that bad, they've got a decent happy hour on Thursdays. They took over the old Bennigan's I think.

Browns management is fine, we've got Kevin Costner. Kidding, that was a movie. But we do have Brad Pitt. No, wait, we did hire the guy from Moneyball, but it was the Jonah Hill guy. Yeah, so we're good.

No, but I've always called Scott Grimes by his preferred nickname, Grimey.

They're very good at blocking the glare that's reflected off a glazed ham. So they're pretty important to him.

Kentuckians and Saudis.

And if you combine the two, you get "of course everyone's at least a little bit gay when they're drunk in a locker room".