In other research news, Black Label bacon makes your dick bigger!

Swank is now exclusively Hilary Swank fanfic. It's filthier than ever.

Actually, it could make a pretty riveting drama.

If he would've answered the animal question with "giant spice weasel" I would've felt obligated to fly to New Orleans and pay exorbitant prices to eat at his restaurant.

I ain't a griller/but don't risk it
A burger's like the sweetest joy next to gettin' brisket

Was it the "Why don't we drink pig milk" article?

Fuck you, Mr. Threepwood (smartass, thinks he's funny).

Yeah it's more of a sports story, since we'll no longer get the annual football matchup in the historic rivalry of DeVry v. ITT Tech.

When I see the word 'colour' I cant help but hear it the way Zapp Brannigan would pronounce 'velour'. It's very sensual.

I assume Accounts Receivable is also working today as True A.R. Bruthas Don't Take No Layba Day Off

"11 people all 2000's Kids Will Remember Speculating Were Banksy"

Sometimes I pay for the hour and realize i only needed 12 minutes. Those 48 minutes should be going to the less fortunate!

Great, but when can I start buying unfinished drinks from bars?

Where else was Hughes gonna drop that Dr. Je-cool line?

I recognize that line from the pilot episode of The Unbreakable Odd Future Wolfgang Pauli.

They've been pretty hard on all colleges from the early days. That Vassar burn still smarts.

They call me Dr. Drew
Good morning. how are you? I'm Dr. Drew
I'm interested in [exploiting quasi-celebrities for $].
I'm not a real doctor,
But I am a real Drew
I am an actual Drew.

Then you gotta go metric. One half Demi Moore is equal to 487 femtoMoores, if I'm remembering my chemistry right.

…The Ten Commandments…

No , the peach will be played by one of those giant pumpkins from the county fair.