As an actor, my eyeballs need to look their whitest!

Do you think you're getting good?
Can you handle criticism?
If so, I'll tell you if I think you're getting better at the keyboards.
Also, please leave the door unlocked.

Definitely Penthouse. Because other than an airport bookstore, where else am I going to get a copy?

It's pretty clear that my comment was not a direct quote of anything, but simply an attempt to explain the difference between a "legal" right/authority/standing (i.e. one granted by law) and the situation here in which the authority was granted via an agreement between the league and the players union. You're either…

You're confusing "subpoena power" with "the power to ask for something and then consider the destruction of that something as part of an internal disciplinary process".

The NFL (and specifically the commissioner Roger Goodell) has the authority on this issue because the players agreed to it in the latest collective bargaining agreement. The appellate court essentially just found that the NFL's findings and punishment were within the scope of the commissioner's authority as agreed to…

It's Teti you need to be worried about.

It was mostly nocturnal clamoring, so you probably didnt see it.

I only go there to order penis pills. Maybe someday there'll be a weird trick to replace penis pills, but until then this is my only choice.

She's been feelin' the Bern lately. Whattya gonna do?

I had a good run. But your mom started offering them at $15 and I couldn't compete. Too much fixed overhead.

Giving $20 in-vehicle blowjobs to lonely men parked in alleys can only charitably be called "working in cars for a living".

I like to think it's a not a typo and people are just over stimulating their Grand Cherokees, which are not emotionally equipped to deal with that sort of thing.

Plus it looks like it says O.G. Regina, aka the original gangsta queen, which is one of her many titles.

Cherimoyas are the next big thing. We're delicious.

24 inches?! That would make anyone cry.

I mean, it sounds so made up: "yom kip pur"

When you say "another small boy there named "Kanye", do you mean your 2-year old is also named Kanye? Is it terrible because the Kanye license plates are always sold out of gift shops you visit? I'm confused.

I'm sorry but this has to be said: pick wingnut or nutjob. A wingjob sounds like sex act for 9th-grade geese.

Owls don't even know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. Fuckers just give up and bite 'em.