If they want to upgrade their delivery speed, I know a good falconer.

Easy on the door, Gramps. We don't want you getting excited and breaking a hip or anything.

Plus, there are the hyper delegates. Which can't be seen by the naked eye but they outrank super delegates.

Saw him at Harry's wedding! Ol' Harry decided to hyphenate, btw, so it's Dixon-Butz now.

Mike! Hugh Jass here. Haven't seen you since college!

Fear not, there are no Christians here. Unless they're just here to get directions on how to get aware from here. Or they're desperate for Simpsons quotes.

I first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love… Yes, a profound sense of fatigue, a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I — I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence. I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women, er, women sense my power, and they seek the…

I'm throwing a snark party to benefit kids. You could come to that.

Somebody's been dancin with Mr. Cold Stone.

He made light of my weight problem, then suggested my motto ought to be "Semper Fudge"

It's really easy to tell the difference, too. Just follow this simple rule: if you saw one next to your kid, would you

I think he's probably intentionally holding up a palm to get "punched" by Ali. That seems like a pretty common pose when people take a snapshot with a boxer.

Sam's Town wasn't great, but was hardly some unsurvivable turn. I would say "are we human/or are we dancer?" is the point a lot of folks said "Ok.I'm done" Thats just really hard to come back from.

Nothing could possiblie go wrong.

It says they ate the "remains" of an illegal cannabis plantation. They weren't high, they were just pissed they got stuck with mostly stems!

He probably just puts that sign on his car's roof so he can run red lights.

"was", eh? So did you opt to go massage therapy school, or did you just successfully sue the people that gave you mesothelioma?

You're thinking of the Spice Channel. Like always.

So that's what all that noise upstairs was last night. Glad I stayed safely in the basement.

Also, tell your mom to get you a Bonestorm. Better tell her to get two, because you are NOT sharing with Caitlin.