If neck-biting and finger-banging were all it took to reproduce, we'd be awash in junior high schoolers by now.

I think the time is right for my Chia Pet movie. And yes, it's gritty.

But one of the likely bargaining chips for an 18-game season would be expanded rosters. So it could cut the other way.

Y'know, he's not wrong, he's just an asshole.

It's hard to imagine any other movie whose performers' only dialogue is grunts.

Did he just karate chop a pillow in that shot?

It's nigh impossible to fit all those accolades into just one act!

John Teti Presents A.V. Club Commenters: What Do They Read? Do They Cook Things?? Let's Find Out!

Yeah, that "Husky" edition of GQ really came off ham-fisted. Because of the fistfuls of ham, though. I actually found it empowering.

I'm actually working on a prequel, The Binge.

Say, let's take a relaxed attitude towards work to watch a motion picture. The Suicide Squadron are my favorite joke-makers.

You're the frosted mini wheats of vote-whoring.

I'm willing to go as far as stoked, but no further.

I dunno know if I'm hyped. Amped, sure…but hyped?

He's the Mel Ott of famous musicians.

I think if I was invited to join an expedition party to "Area X", I would decline, the obligations of the land surveyor's code be damned.

Plus, didn't some black guy do it? Case closed right there.

Uh-huh, I see. And how much does this Freeform cost?

One's 'chill' level is primarily a factor of how many fucks one has left to give. So 'zero chill' is the state of having none more fucks. This has been achieved only by scientists in the lab and, of course, Harrison Ford.

Town crier…I'd like to ask you a few questions. One, where's the FYF? And two, gimme the FYF.