You sound like the guy on the phone last night when I tried to order an Asian call girl. So I'll tell you the same thing I told him:
"Just send whoever you got before I lose my nerve!"

Our swarthiest white actors are probably already working on their Arabic.

Wade…Wade! Waaaaaaaade!!!

Hey, Savage Love used to be in the old print version of The Onion. Does anybody else remember that? Things being printed, I mean?

This is an Onion headline, right? I think the delivery guy mixed up. Somewhere the Onion got a fresh delivery of "Great Job, Internet!" about celebrity mash-ups with their dogs or something.

"Hey, is that a colostomy bag on your belt?"
"No, actually it's my gun."
"Oh. Eww."

Especially when you picture PFT as an anthropomorphic dog in a V-neck T-shirt, which I do.

I hope they don't get rid of the "trivia" option that sometimes shows up at the beginning. I kill at that thing! Especially since its been the same 5 questions for the last 6-8 months!

I came here only to make sure somebody had made this joke. And you did…so I'll be on my way.

I dunno…they're pretty good for trick-or-treating.

Adobo doesn't sound very Irish.

It's not the money they're spending that's the problem; it's that every hour in a movie theater is an hour not spent making an iPhone or Nike basketball shoe.

Seems nobody wants to hang out in a dank pit no more.

There's a scene where Sully and his boys play beach volleyball. It doesn't really advance the plot, but the eye candy is spectacular.

"Pretend I'm a goose"

Somehow I think I can guess your recipe for Horsey sauce.

*Hulu immediately jumps out of chair and begins defiantly cussing at Maury audience.

I don't think anything of note happened in Iran after the events of the first movie, so there's really nothing to tell.

Do you have any crepuscular animals? Who here is most like an ocelot?

He's actually the Batard Executioner. He can kill a whole loaf of bread in one sitting. Then he takes a nap.