I know you're just parsing that for Hawking-computer-speak, but it definitely saw that last word as "screwéd," Shakespeare-style. At least Shia would be in good company, ripping off the Bard.

Is it too soon after Bob Hoskins's passing to make a "Super Mario Bros." joke?

Three tits? That's awesome.

And luckily no hard-to-memorize "ethnic" names?

When you something eat it?

Accidentally read "Lohan Underground." Still applies.

You know, there are people out there who aren't aware that song exists.

I'd be careful making your kid love the turtle, then pitting yourself against the turtle…

I bet you will. Repeatedly.

I challenge anyone to find an instance of "utilize" that cannot be replaced with equal efficacy by the word "use."

I don't know, pal. I don't see people that way.

Phrasing.

@avclub-c1bac1d55ebcc415d61552acbfbb219d:disqus  You better not let Mark Wahlberg hear about that drone…

Damn it. Knew I should have bothered to look it up.

I can see why Eagleton would disown the… Ralphios? Do those kids have a last name? Doesn't matter. That would totally make sense if they had been exiled to Pawnee.

Bless you, Sean O'Neal, for making a Higgs boson joke.

Crank? Nobody here wants to talk about Jason Statham.

@e_buzz_miller:disqus  Who are you, the Fox network?

Since when does the spell Lightning Bolt ricochet?

I feel like "the Rusty Venture!" could be the new "the Aristocrats!"… Just throw it in there after someone else describes something awful: "Oh, yeah, the Rusty Venture!"