When I was visiting family in Arkansas, Southern Missouri wasn't so much a font of despair, poverty and hopelessness as it was a font of legal booze, lottery tickets and cheaper cigarettes.

I spent a few months in NZ a few years ago, and found it to be the most pleasant, livable place I've ever been. If only it weren't so damn far away from everyplace else!

Sorry. Didn't mean to jump all over you. It's just that I'm really sick of the myth that we have all that much say when it comes to health care. Republicans are always saying that socialized medicine, or even government exchanges, takes away our power as consumers, but when it comes to health care we have almost no…

Ice to see him back.

Find something better? You think I'm the one who chose my insurance? Somebody in my work's human resources department made that call, not me. My only choice was whether or not to buy the insurance they were offering, and I figured that something was better than nothing. I'm not intimately familiar with every detail of…

Here, here! We vanilla people need to be reassured that we're OK, too.

I like the way you sympathize with the common people. There's a certain noblesse oblige there that I think is becoming rarer.

I think it happened when he spilled Coke on it during a thunderstorm, like in "Electric Dreams." Pretty soon Idiotking and his penis will be competing for the love of the same cello player.

I had a kidney stone not too long ago. They told me to wait for it to come out, wrote me a prescription for Vicodin, gave me some wonderful morphine and charged me 100 bucks for the ER visit. I'm insured, so I assumed that would be it. Boy was I wrong. I didn't spend as much as you, only a few hundred bucks, but still…

Idiotking's penis nearly killed him? Well, I guess he had it coming.

"The night Bran Stark wore his wolf suit and made mischief of one kind and another his mother called him "WILD THING!" and Bran said "I'LL EAT YOU UP!" so he was sent to bed without eating anything."

I've always wanted to see a superhero that's just horribly out of shape due to the fact that he never pushes his limits. He can lift fifty tons, but since he never has too, he has a pot belly and spindly little arms and legs. People would be disappointed to be rescued by him. They'd be like, "Oh, hey, thanks a lot,…

Or cocaine.

Skinventory.
My year of faps.

Sometimes I really do feel that way. I'm sure the percentage of black people I see in movies is higher than the percentage I see in my daily life, so I sometimes wonder what the big deal is about their representation. But it's almost half Latino where I live, so I wonder why there aren't more movies featuring them…

I always figured Percy's "girlfriend" was actually just some girl who he knew socially who was nice to him, so he decided the relationship was romantic. Because he's an idiot.

"What else have you got in your astoundingly inventive repertoire, I wonder? Aaah, a brilliant drunk Glasweigan, no doubt. An hilarious black man: 'See you Jimmy, where am dat watty-melon?' Oh, fabulous. I can't wait for your side-splitting poof, and that funny little croaky one who isn't anyone in particular, but is…

She was standing next to Estelle Getty.

They couldn't af-Ford not to.

And they could just watch the movie "North" on a loop. I predict that they would hate, hate, hate, hate that. Hate it.