Too bad, you have to follow the Protocols.

You ate pork ragu on a Friday! Double guilt!

"Blasphemous buffoon, return my mitre directly!"
"Aw come on man, it makes me look taller!"

I used to get calls for a newspaper for the local Brazilian community. People would get really annoyed that I don't speak Portuguese.

Does this guy know how to party or what?

Jimmy Stewart is in this?!

Last time Superman gave a shit he blew out half the sewers in Metropolis.

Except Fox News.

"Wow, the Joker sure seems to enjoy riding his Harley."

If so, I can't imagine why.

Whatever, man. Do you even know what time it is?

The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame also has a prog problem. And a problem with the fact that they named it The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame even tho it's actually a popular music hall of fame. And okay, I understand that if I visit the R&RHOF not all the living performers can be there all the time, but some of them should…

I voted for Pat Paulsen.

I envy us.

You call those muttonchops? Those things, MAYBE, qualify as Elvis burns.

I see you've played knifey-spoony-hipster before.

If you shave your privates, but not your face, you might be a hipster.

Nonsense, the meaning is perfectly clear.

Bird and Teller Get Angry!

He's totally in my house! Somebody call 911!