I'm dressing like this for the Civil War: https://en.wikipedia.org/wi…

Do you have any experience selling marijuana?
No, I do not.
Great, you're perfect for the job!

No, because nobody ever actually watched Sheriff Lobo.

Did anyone else think for a second that he had a blurry little person standing on his chest?

I didn't realize Curt Schilling went to DeVry.

Now THAT was art!

Doug Henning's only an illusion.

I alredy do something to fight poverty. I get my ass out of bed ev3ery norning anf go to WORK and pay my TAXES to support leeches who don';t do the same!!11!!1!!!! So gibe me a goddam record

I hear some Native Americans calling themselves Indians but I'm still gonna call them Native Americans.

Don't forget about 2.

Transgender is an umbrella term, including the folks Woz is talking about and people like your cousin.

Not sure why, but hermaphrodite is now considered offensive.

I hear he totally cleaned out King Augeas' stables, if you know what I mean.

What does he say about the catfight between Alexis and Krystal?

He's doing the poseur dangle.

Let's see, where's the best place to keep this poison? Oh, right next to the diphtheria medicine will work.

Her mother she could never stand,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin,
Her mother she cold never stand,
And so a cyanide soup she planned.
The mother died with a spoon in her hand,
And her face in a hideous grin, a grin,
Her face in a hideous grin.

I recommend they watch this:

I told them to go with Mangina. Much classier.

Or as Dan Quayle said, "A mind is a terrible thing."