Kellan Lutz may never have what we like to call a human face. 

http://blogs.suntimes.com/e…

I won't relate to you the story of how I changed Roger Ebert's mind about Armond White. I've told it before (though I will say that I've always recoiled getting credit for the link I posted, since I didn't write it). I want to tell another, perhaps-not-very-interesting-but-whatever story about Ebert from my childhood.

It had SIX different time slots in the 8 seasons it was on, and it still survived. That's amazing.

"I am happy to say it brings back an element sadly missing in recent
movies, gratuitous nudity. Sexy women would "happen" to be topless in
the 1970s movies for no better reason than that everyone agreed,
including themselves, that their breasts were a genuine pleasure to
regard — the most beautiful naturally occurring…

As someone who worked at a movie theater for the last two years of high school, that whole chapter was just moment after moment of "yep, that's accurate."

Russell, the little kid in Up, says some devastatingly pointed and accurate things about his divorced parents. This hit some leftover raw nerves about my memories of my own parent's divorce. It also led to me sobbing through most of that movie.

As a former theater employee, it is absolutely true that carding wasn't as hard for teens at arty movies. I remember letting a clearly underage couple who didn't have ID buy tickets to Sideways, and I also remember being a complete hardass (per my bosses orders) with the dozen little kids accompanied by their 17 year…

And Crab Man from My Name is Earl was her doctor who helped her learn to walk or whatever! In a movie that hilariously ludicrous, it stood out.

That is a PERFECT description. I watched it because I was drunk, and the whole movie is so robotic and forced and pleasant it becomes surreal.

The Spirit. Oh my God, The Spirit. We all sat in the theater in stunned silence, punctuated by footsteps, shuffling coats and murmurings of "Fuck this, let's go."

"Utterly inexplicable" is a perfect description for Nothing but Trouble. "Aggressively bad" also works.

In addition to that list, I also enjoyed Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore.

DIS-qualified!

Boogie Nights.

He's the Twistable Turnable Squeezable Pullable
Stretchable Foldable Man.
He can crawl in your pocket or fit your locket
Or screw himself into a twenty-volt socket,
Or stretch himself up to the steeple or taller,
Or squeeze himself into a thimble or smaller,
Yes he can, course he can,
He's the Twistable Turnable Squeezable…

Toronto, Kansas City, and Denver often seem be "wild card" cities for limited tours.

This is why I make the distinction between my "most hated" movies and the "worst movies I've ever seen." I hate Rent more than any other movie I can think of, but I can also cite dozens and dozens of mediocrities that I would say are objectively worse.

Nail on the head. Numerous critics have noted that content is largely neutral until shaped by pace and tone, and there are plenty of movies that have generic plots completely undone by their approach.

For me, Reese's lifetime pass movie. It was shown to me my sophomore year of college at the end of a drunken night with no explanation, which I think was the best possible way to have seen it.