"Am I projecting? Maybe a little bit?"

Why would anyone worry?

Slightly more coherent than usual, but about as cogent.

Naw, it was Joe Biden all along. That's why weed is legal in DC!

Nobody in any industry should be trusted to say anything plausible beyond their narrow specialty. Just because you ran a software company doesn't mean you have any great insight into human biology or political philosophy. And just because you were on Wrestlemania a lot doesn't mean you have any qualifications to run…

Mike Patton responded to this by whinnying like a horse.

I would also respect Megan Kelly more if she kicked Anthony Kiedis in the nuts. That way everyone wins!

The Internet

"I never inhaled, but still, this shit tastes pretty good…"

Sy Sperling, President of the Hair Club for Men, is running for president?! What kind of topsy turvy world are we living in?

So he never married your mom and refuses to acknowledge that you exist?

Originality is overrated.

Those will go away soon.

I read Sewer, Gas & Electric a long time ago, and that was a super fun read, as a book featuring the disembodied head of Ayn Rand should be. Never read anything else, though.

Some people learned about bankruptcy.

Eat the blue cookie.

Stiltons of people lining up to make these puns, though.

I am weird. Thank you.

It is absolutely real. I dunno if they still do it, but they used to have these once a year, where you could go on a cruise (to somewhere? I am not entirely sure) with a bunch of conservative columnists. Have a mojito with Pat Buchanan!

By Mr. or Mrs. T.G.I. Friday, Esquire.