The interesting part for the listener will be determining which is a fart, and which a kazoo. Maybe some are both!

Dan Clowes did a great one called "Devil Doll" years ago. One line that has stuck with me forever is a satanist announcing, "Satan is my master, I lick the maggots from his cloven hoof." I would use that line all the time if the opportunity ever arose.

Am I the only one who assumes he'll be Mario?

I once had a terrible job for a week as a bathroom attendant a Planet Hollywood (I know, I know). I ended up getting the flu because of it and was out sick for a few days. When I got back, I went to a staff meeting and then after meeting went to start my work day, and lo and behold, someone else was already there. It…

Harmon would never say "maybe".

Thank God the crow is OK.

Rule number one: Set fire to the board.
Rule number two: Play a fun game.

Pog Enthusiast

Look out for Chet Wilson, Lawn Maintenance and Jim Maxidermist, Taxidermist, coming soon on USA!

Aw, man, that takes me back. There was a time when I tried to learn that phrase in as many languages as possible. That is the only one I still remember.

Just as long as the guy who wears the giant diaper was inducted, then everything is OK.

Just tape their mouths shut!

Me too.

Save that for the guest bedroom, right?

I think the term is actually "more bad at your job."

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is a war room!

There's actually two words for that. Transfenestration means going through a window, and defenestration means going out a window.

After reading a few of his books, exactly who is surprised that the dude is some kind of reactionary crank? I mean, I like his books (though they've gotten increasingly bloated after American Tabloid), but I wouldn't exactly think of him as some great genius moralist of a writer or anything.

Fuck yeah. A loose adaptation of Beneath the Underdog would be awesome, including the tall tales he told of a bass player running through a wall during the fire at the Coconut Grove. Because exaggerating Mingus is good Mingus.

And the circle is complete. Goodnight, everybody!