Marge: Exhausting. It took the children forty minutes to locate Canada on the map.
Homer: Marge, anyone can miss Canada, all tucked away down there.

You're sure, now? The prison train is sailing.

In fact, in Rand McNally, they wear hats on their feet and hamburgers eat people.

Facts are meaningless, you can use facts to prove anything that's remotely true! Facts, schmacks.

America - Australia - America - Australia - America - Australia - America - Australia - America - Australia - America - Australia - America - Australia

I want to set the record straight — I thought … the cop … was a prostitute.

There's only two kinds of guys who wear Hawaiian shirts: gay guys and
big fat party animals. And Bart doesn't look like a big fat party animal
to me!

Big Mama's House and Daddy Day Care?

Lana: You're looking for Predator aren't you? A, he's invisible.

Trab pu kcip! "Trab pu kcip!

Kirk: How about it, Luanne? Will you marry me… again?
Luanne: Ooh, no!
Kirk: [moans] Well… Uh, can I have my shirts back, at least?

Homer:
But wait. You can't kill me for being Krusty. I'm not him. I'm Homer Simpson.

Welcome to the noble family of skilled Krustaceans. You will now go back to your home towns and do kids' parties, swap meets, and all the other piddling crap I wouldn't touch with a ten foot clown pole. Now, come and get your catskins — er, I mean, sheepskins.

Got it! No shock for me, hee hee!

Quiet You!

Sure it's called a Roman Catholic marriage.

That's not a Tongue Scraper.

It did improve my opinion of Philistines, though I still remain neutral on the Hittites.

Mr. Chambers! Don't get on that ship! The rest of the book, "To Serve Man", it's - it's a cookbook!

I don't use the word 'hero' lightly, but this man is the greatest hero in American history.