ugh, 2 and a half minutes.  i lose.

i remember, at the time, being really pissed off that i even knew his name.  and it's not like you had to be a fan of spears to know it.  for a good chunk of time in the mid 00s i walked around angry because, not only was there a kevin federline in the world, but i knew of him.  it put me in a very dark place, vis a…

"you can't fake this!"

i don't want to sound like a queer or nuthin', but i think unicorns are kick ass!

skip bayless is sitting on a buttplug.

wow, baby with herpes, you know a lot about royalties.

problem is, cook would be a cunt if he were the guy who scrubs your wheels before you go into the car wash, let alone the fact that he's a famous entertainer……of someone.

wait, which one is 3/4ths?

psh, he doesn't look anything like former red jeff conine.

does becoming an uncle within the last two years qualify?  also, i've read more than one book, if you count burt reynolds's autobiography.

atlas shrugged 2: the occupy strikes back

everybody's fappy nowadays.

in soviet russia, the scenery chews your cock.  or something.  i just wanted to play too.

i always thought it was like a desk pop, but in your bedroom.

ah, ABC.  they'd tempt the terrorists into a sprockets-like dance party with their patented brand of 80s synth-driven brit pop.

but what if the terrorists were children with cancer?

fap…………fap……fap….fap…fap..fap.fapfapfapfapfapfapfap

i myself use the rhombus choke.  more slanty.

hey!

OF COCK.