Fun fact: We're not insane!

"Middle of the road! / Man it STANK! / Let's run over Lionel Richie with a TANK!"

Thee comparison's apt though because both Xanth and 50 Shades tell you more than you'd ever want to know about their respective authors' various fetishes.

I was about to mention that when I rewatched "Santa Claus" as an adult, I was miffed that the Puce Pops weren't puce, which, since sixth grade, when the word "puce" popped up in a book I had to read for class, I'd always thought was kind of a gross yellowish-greenish-brownish pukey color.  But out of curiosity, I went…

I do.  Saw it in a theater, in fact.  I was enthralled by Santa's toy factory and scared sh*tless by the final scene of the villain floating off into space.

Oh my God, I must steal the "'One Magic Christmas' shows us what kind of Christmas movie Lars Von Trier would make" because holy shit does that ever nail it.  Just, WTF, Disney?

When I was little (this was maybe 1985), my town had a family holiday festival and the main event was a screening of "A Christmas Story" in our ancient little movie house.  I remember the movie blowing my mind as a child; THIS movie got it, this is what Christmas was really like for a kid!  I also kind of remember…

"One of the lead stories was that Princess Diana and Prince Charles escaped an assassination attempt at a Duran Duran concert."

My favorite "People Who Aren't From Australia* Think Everything in Australia is Trying to Kill You" story, even though it's very likely anecdotal:

This is literally the only thing I know about Caspar Weinberger.

Since we're sharing RHPS first-timer stories:

For those of us born in the late-70's through early-80's, YouTube is the greatest gift the Internet has ever given us.  It assures us that most if not all of the strange, lost shows of our early childhoods were real and not actually some kind of vividly remembered fever dream

I have extremely vague memories of being shown a different Kirk Cameron-involving anti-drug video.

"With mint frosting".

One of the greatest discoveries I've ever had on the Internet was learning that (a) there was a whole generation of children who misunderstood what absurdly vague PSA messages like "don't drink and drive" were all about and (b) I wasn't the only little kid who flipped out crying when my poor confused dad took a sip of…

Oh God, me too.  I honestly can't think of a more unintentionally unpleasant hour of television.

I'm still waiting for my Gravity Sandals.  I got high ceilings that need cleaning.  Get on this, science!

"You Can Always Be #1" was subtitled "Sport Goofy's Anthem", and as such it's pretty much the only evidence I can show people that Sport Goofy was even ever a thing. 

The album version of the birthday song (with significantly different lyrics from the one linked above) is one of those things I assumed as a child would eventually make sense once I was an adult and knew WTF they were talking about.  Ye gods, was I ever wrong; far as I can tell the dude really has brought a bunch of…

I had it as a child as well and to this day it's one of my favorite children's albums because it is so gloriously bizarre.  I need a Jim Hill article about it stat, if only to explain the strange preoccupation with science fiction themes in an album one would naturally assume, from the cover, title track, and title…