I'm going with consumerism and the wasting of resources.

One night, nearly a decade ago, I was driving home after work with the radio on the college station. At some point a song comes on that I immediately felt a connection with, even though I had never heard it before. The song accompanied me most of my drive home, but I wanted to hear more. I pull into the driveway, put…

Haha! @avclub-a93a879594c13c12a83fd45ab289a022:disqus got people to admit to liking Arli$$!

I remember at the time, my father kept going on and on about Gandolfini's performance in True Romance. "He's gonna be HUGE!" He would say. My father was always proud he ended up right, but it was pretty obvious we'd be seeing more of Gandolfini.

@Patrick_Batman:disqus I wouldn't worry. It was most likely a rat.

Well, sure, if we were making up names, yeah.

Maybe replace Ellen Page with Chloe Moretz?

That's a tough one. On one hand, the former is more bizarre based on concept alone. On the other, the latter is more bizarre because it was actually beloved (or, rather, it was a cornerstone of the Fox Saturday morning block for some time).

Imagining Hank Hill saying this was the best thing to come from this article.

I couldn't think of anybody for the last one, so that's basically the 'FREE' space.

Search your feelings, you know it to be true.

Late-teen female, independent, good sense of humour, fit.
Jennifer Lawrence

I knew creating that gimmick account five years ago would get me in trouble…

I was *this* close to nose-spraying soda all over my desk. Damn you Saaannndddlllerrr!

I'm a year and a half past that deadline.

No kidding. There's a Goodwill right across the street from the neighborhood Sean Payton used to live in. They mark most of their products higher than any of the other Goodwills but the clothes are the same cheap price, and they're damn fine. A majority of my work clothes come from there. That, and the clearance racks…

I was going to mention that I'm pretty sure I heard Bill O' Reilly, a man born in NYC, defend the "states' rights" position, but I suddenly remembered he was quick to call those people out, too.

(I had my facts mixed up in my original post, Bill O' Reilly never said such a thing.)

Republican women love Spanx.

Not if they're tap dancing.