I like the guy in the lilac(?) shirt who clearly came for the poon.

I got your THE DISSOLVE right here!

The only thing that separates James Franco and Johnny Depp is time.

I certainly hope not.

But I feel bad for myself all the time!

Nice try, but we all know kangaroos can't practice law! What are they supposed to do, pull gavels out of their pouches??

I feel bad for people who think Five Guys has great, or even good, burgers.

I freckle easily when summer starts. In fact, I just had a freckle appear a few weeks ago in the oddest place - a little un-inked spot on my tattoo. It's actually perfect in that it's not disrupting the piece, but it's so frustrating in an OCD way.

My all-time favorite Simpsons gag comes from "Bart Gets an Elephant," where Santa's Little Helper and Snowball II's attempts to get win the family's attention back culminates in the two of them walking into the room on their hind legs and SLH barking, "we… love… you!"

The difference is, the Holocaust happened within the last 100 years.

Step Three is *cups hand over side of mouth, whispers in @avclub-1441762ea1630bc0605fdcef3984e996:disqus 's ear*

Yeah, the single version is leagues better than the Velvets demo.

"I guess if you've also got Soft Bulletin and Clouds Taste Metallic and Yoshimi (Which for some reason everybody in my particular generation-i'm 26- seems to fucking adore even though it's got like four great songs and a bunch of okay stuff) then there's not much room for the other shit."

Style-wise, sure, it should go Hit/Transmissions/Clouds, but based on strength alone I'm still going with Priest/Hit/Transmissions. In a Priest Driven Ambulance is one of their strongest albums, and my personal favorite* (of their entire career). Clouds, on the other hand, is one of their worst. It's like they…

Such an underrated album. It's a shame, too, because I think the Priest-Hit to Death-Transmissions era was the band at its best.

His gloves aren't small. It's just that his hands have to be so big to give us such wonderful gifts!

Black people comment on YouTube videos like this…

It was a wise choice changing her name, considering she married a man named Hasselbeck.

That sounds like a Pepperidge Farm cookie, and that's A-OK with me!

Where do you think he got that cold sore?