It's the hipster conundrum. Hook sucks. Kevin Smith is always wrong. Kevin Smith says Hook sucks. ZOMGWTFBBQ?

When sheeee loved meee. *dissolves into tears*

Cool! This means women win, right?

And I thought this was going to be about the Golden Age of MGM musicals.

We were evicted from our hole in the ground. We had to live in a lake.

*nods* It's shirts all the way down.

And now I really want there to be both Michael Gambon AND shark-drawn carriages in this. Make it so.

Damn it, this means I have to cough up the money to get HBO now. WTF, Michael Chabon? Basic cable not good enough for you?

I do so look forward to hearing about her future soirees with the likes of Tobias Keith, Dolores Parton, and Gartholemew Brooks.

As long as they're not living together with dogs, we can avoid mass hysteria.

Sunny Gummi, for sure.

Smurf Snarf. Smurf him right in the smurf.

All the single laddies… If you liked it then you shoulda spread your legs a bit.

Informational manual about CancerAIDS.

I've heard that if you chop off James Franco's arm and bury it, it will grow another James Franco!

Gee Doc, all I see is a human hand poking out of a rainbow-colored suit.

May your lack of continued retelling be insufficient to help you recover from being shot in the head.

I like not this news. Bring me some other news.

I dub thee "Pun-Fu Kid."

Judging from the amount of auto-tune on her song, I think it already has been.