I saw Ephron's godawful play "Imaginary Friends" and she managed to make me dislike Swoosie Kurtz and Cherry Jones- that's how bad she is.

She's got the funk right here in her box.

Where the fuck are fireflies?

1. Errol Flynn
2. Douglas Fairbanks
3. William Russell
4. Brian Bedford
5. Cary Elwes
6. Daffy Duck
…
1017. Kevin Costner

"Tolchock the old vek."

And now the temptation is to perform an idiosyncratic bit of my own made up nonsense in front of one or the other of them to see if they'll play along.

We're all negroes except our accompin accompuh accomp the feller that plays the guitar.

I've got a Porsche. Mnyeah.

You have seen the new Holmes, yes?

AVC does RPF? Kinky!

Blech, I hate the Rake's Song. The monotonous guitar riff sets my teeth on edge. If I want my psychopath and death fix, I'll listen to "We Both Go Down Together."

Seriously. The Noah story has way more Will Smithable tropes, what with the world getting swallowed by water and humanity being saved by one man and his vision. And you could add a thriller angle where Noah has to figure out who's killing the unicorns and manticores and figure out why the zombies and vampires look so…

It's kind of like that family in the Aristocrats joke.

*forgets the words to "King of the Road*

It's a savvy career move if he's got his eye on a Fox News commentator gig.

He wants his shirt, he wants his shirt. He won't be happy without his shirt.

If the nightingale could sing like yoooooouuu

"Brain Donors" is no "Disorderlies."

Yeah, well I love my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth every once and a while.

Having read a fair few five act plays (Shakespeare, Ibsen, etc.) all this discussion of third acts confuses me nearly as much as the difference between piano and guitar fingering.