But… but we had a distinct Kids In The Hall influence and referenced Dungeons and Dragons…

Have you ever been close to tragedy, or been close to one who has?

In high school, I was basically the second dude from the left in the banner photo. My high school speech improv team was OFF THE HOOK. We had a reputation at the state speech competitions. You're just jealous. ::Returns to mediocre adult life::

You might still be able to find this on a special four movie $5 set in the Walmart bargain bin, along with Hamlet II and two random teen sex comedies. I got this a couple years ago and still haven't watched the other three films.

::Sighs. Groans. Rolls eyes. Groans…::

I kind of want to see a short film where a guy goes to his kitchen and a fully-animated tony the tiger jumps from his pantry and mauls him.

I generally hate listening to anything live, especially podcasts. When I start listening to a podcast episode and it starts with applause and an echoey voice saying, "This week we're recording a live episode at Merry Sycophant-con…" I'm all "FUCK!" and usually just turn it off. They're just so much less succinct and…

Tigers will do anything for a tuna fish sandwich.

Shouldn't that tiger much prefer eating monkeys or people or something?

Which is the cable channel that has a show about eccentric, rural guys runnin' moonshine? All of them? Oh my.

Face burned on one side, hates Batman: you know the type.

Does anyone else feel robbed when This American Life does a fiction segment? I always hate that. Even if I kind of like the story they do, I resent hearing it on TAL.

They're great.

Oh, you know. We've all met those Garfield types out there. They act all sweet but then they kick you off the table for the pure, sadistic glee of it. They'll tell you nice things but they're just using you for lasagna. Don't tell me you've never heard about Garfield Guys. You probably are one.

Kurt Vonnegut is perplexed by the appeal of Alley Oop.

"How do you feel about feminism in the modern novel?"
::throws up hands:: "WHY would you ask me THAT?"
"Oh. Uh. No reason, no reason."

But do you eat a panful… in seconds… using your bare hands?

They were long thought dead, but were brought back… by a CURSE!

I always wished Beetle would just become more and more insubordinate until he just openly verbally abused Sarge, who slowly runs out of all ability to even fight back.

Is there a Tumblr our there that's all Lockhorns comics with the captions changed to, "I HATE YOU!"