You can't beat that moment when you discover that someone else has made a very DIFFERENT connection with an old favorite entertainment. Internet, you are the wild west and The Lawnmower Man all rolled up into one. That's probably also a fetish, isn't it? Wil Smith dressed as a cowboy having sex with a monster in VR?

Or Al Capone's glove box. "Just as I suspected! MAPS!"

He's probably not the first guy to get eaten by a snake wearing a special protective suit, but Richard Branson is too embarrassed to openly talk about it.

::Looks at script:: There's about fifteen pages of "Yippee."

This is probably a bad time to mention my idea for a fifteen minute pod racing scene starring Franklin Richards.

He wears a silver bullet on a string around his neck. He got it from his mom before she disappeared. ::FEELS!::

I can honestly say that is one of the top two or three shovel beatings I've ever received.

Do you think maybe they could also buy the rights from Sony to weave a Spider-man origin story into their FF origin story. Two origin stories in one!

That sounds entirely terrible, except when I replace Darth Vader in my mind calmly force-choking an underling with an unhinged Paul Giamatti choke-choking an Imperial general, both their faces bright red and grimacing.

It had its good points. The casting of The Doctor was pretty good.

For context, he said all this in a sort of Taco Bell chihuahua voice.

What about that musical they did on a boat or something? Swear I saw that somewhere.

Only if we can name the gorilla Ben and inexplicably call The Thing "Kong."

Silver Surfer can be a smart alek skateboardin' kid. You like Silver Surfer, don't you? Well, here you get to see what he was like as a little kid.

The header has a picture of a castle that looks like it's from an Apple IIe game.

The tender flaky crust! And real fruit filling!

Reed Richards: His Pilates skills make him *extra* flexible, which is useful in super-battles. The Thing, a.k.a. Richard Thingamabob: A big tough guy who looks kind of orange under certain lighting conditions. The Invisible Girl: She's very physically attractive. Human Torch: This young human is very skilled at using…

Is there anything good about him in the older Fox movies? I haven't seen those yet, but I'm tempted to just because I want to see The Thing on screen.

I picture Feige's arms stretching out to improbable lengths, straining closer and closer…

"You will believe a man can steal thousands of dollars in cent-fractions by ticka-tickaing on a computer."