Ryan Lochte should do the heroic thing right now: Endorse Donald Trump.

Her spoken word albums … not so much.

High Tea with the Sex Pistols is a particularly delightful episode.

New York's all right if you like saxophone.

She does sound better than Exene Cervenka.

— Dwight Eisenhower (?)

I never knew reaching perfection was such a low bar?

You have no idea because all his friends are DEAD!!!*

Thanks, my grandma's Facebook page!

The entire episode will take place in his giant mouth.

Lobster a la Matchbox 20?

But that means they'll have to sacrifice 7 fatted calves and 7 ewes to Guy Fieri!

"Here John. Whisk these eggs!"
"Bite my shiny metal ass." (then drinks a lot of booze)

Or put his hand in an industrial blender.

Ironically, the exploding heads of FCC employee's get a lesser rating than all those swears and an errant woman-nipple.

What? Bobby Flay not good enough?

Does nudity have to be explained in a film? Why can't Americans just love them boobies and dongs? Nah, here's some gun violence, you two-faced sanctimonious fuckstains.

"You know I had some friends who did fake cocaine. You know where they are now? THEY'RE DEAD!!!" — Lindsay Weir's Dad.

"Fake?!!!"
[James Woods sues some guy on Twitter]

You mean a Trump rally?