"Amateurs". - Bill Cosby

The band I'm in just finished getting our new album's mastering done. All the songs are original except for one. The engineer who mastered it recommended that we copywrite our arrangement (since it is unusual and way different than the original) to prevent anyone taking our version and try to pass it off as their own.

Neko brought the funny on At Midnight.

It's Cringe Comedy.

The Census sketch may be my favorite of all time on that show.

Well - even the band thought it was hilarious & had some guy come out banging on a cowbell during the song after that episode aired.

As a lobbyist in North Carolina I am intrigued by your ideas and want to subscribe to your newsletter.

If you're nominated and you don't attend, the little native girl you sent in your place ain't getting squat.

With Grandma's hands no doubt!

My formative years were spent on the west coast.

Turned me into a newt!

I believe it's what the founding fathers had in mind all along.

Good luck.

But I heard he was well hung. (Nailed it!)

50 Shades of Luke.

Facebook - the 21st century tombstone.

Darn. I read that headline as "magical breasts" and clicked only to be disappointed…

That would be kind of awesome if there was a country just for them.

If I've learned anything from living in the South, it's that any democrat elected to the Presidency immediately becomes dictator.

"Where's Firefly? - I shot it in the face, Ha!" (Creepy Rictus)