It's illegal, cowardly, and counter to everything we stand for as Americans. But hey, glad you thought it was a good idea!

The premise may have been a little hokey, but it was doing meta commentary while actually being the genre it was commenting on before Scream made it cool.

It's real, real broad, but goddammit he looks like he's having fun.

"Hinky" is a law enforcement slang term for "strange or unexpected."

You don't like me, you can fuck off.

I remember renting this because I loved The Usual Suspects and the VHS cover (that's right kids!) had a beefy, Luke Wilson-esque guy on the cover brandishing a shotgun, so I thought I was in for some cool action. Turns out, it was not really the kind of movie experience the box promised.

My brother-in-law gave me a book of drinking quotes and one always stuck with me:

Hell I'll drink 4 beers before I go out drinking. But I am a god.

One day I let out an exasperated "Shit…" that out of nowhere turned into the proper name "Shit-stain Reynolds." I still use it frequently, I like the rhythm.

I'd like to punch the shih tzu did this.

Because a six pack is like $40?

Made some diner-style smashburgers. Had been taking forever to get the combination of crunchy outside, juicy inside, ragged edged, thin patty goodness that seems to come so easily to burger joints. I figured out that my problem was over-working the meat. Now I take about a 1 lb supermarket pack of 80/20 chuck, cut it…

Constantly self-infantilizing by clinging to children's entertainment…

What about catsup?

My shorts! HAH!

I just want a chicken burrito.

My favorite Chipotle patrons are the ones who really play up the accent on the menu items:

That's Die Hard.

Seeing your name is print is the only appropriate reward for a job well done!

Where's Vin Diesel with a bucket of Coronas?