Bought a soda siphon just for Rickeys.

Adding up to a Zero Effect.

I took my wife to Die Hard 5 in 4D (rumble seats!) for Valentine's Day. Inexplicably, she remains my wife.

Getting a Q into the Friday Q&A
The birth, maturation, and coronation of ZMF
Pun Threads
Telling Nabin how much he fucked up a Simpsons write-up

We looove you, Bender!

Human connection? Ha!

I have heard of cads who will schedule dates for happy hour, dinner, and night caps for the same night, with the idea being that if it looks like it's going well (ie, to pound town) with one, he can cancel with the later ones. However, under no circumstances should it be attempted at the same establishment. And in…

I've been doing a little project the past couple years where I'm trying to garner 3x as many likes as comments before i hit 5000 comments. I keep an auto-updating spreadsheet and try to maximize my like-getting (commenting early, Simpsons and MST3k quotes, etc.).

I always figured Pluto was living out some kind of gimp fantasy.

He was a Tiger Beat staple, for sure, but it's not like he leaned into it and took a bunch of romantic comedy parts. Post-Titanic he's working with Danny Boyle, Woody Allen, Spielberg, Scorsese. Not exactly an Andrew Keegan trajectory.

I told you: you don't get a gun until you tell me your name.

What a choad.

You know they invented whiskey, right?

Remember 3D TV? Me neither.

My activities of late have included an amount of cunnilingus so great that I find myself actually defecating clitorises.

Quoth ZMF: America is stronger when it's making Saw movies.

Man, what a powerful voice. RIP.

Teh Dudette made Wildfire jello shots for our GoT watch party. Damn tasty and green as all hell.

Jermaine Jackson named one of his kids Jermajesty.

I'm a Bay apologist, but one of the secondary criticisms of his work that definitely rings true is his 14-year-old's approach to sexuality. He'll show Megan Fox draped sensuously over a motorcycle like a full-motion dorm-room poster, but he'd never shoot a straight-faced love scene, much less with bare bewbs.